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Links in “Jokes”

  • This elderly gentleman became very hard of hearing so he went to get hearing aids. They gave him the new high tech hearing aids and told him to wear them and come back in 2 weeks for a checkup. He came back in two weeks and they were working great. The Dr. Said your family must be very excited that you can hear. The elderly man said I haven’t told them yet. I just sit around and listen and I have already changed my will 3 times!!!
  • Six-year old Angie, and her four- year old brother, Joel, were sitting in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. “You’re not supposed to talk out loud in church.” “Why? Who’s going to stop me?” Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, “See those two men standing by the door? They’re hushes.”
  • A little boy was overheard praying: “Lord, if you can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having a real good time like I am.”
  • President Obama returns 5% of his salary! Another political ploy to make American People think he is doing great things! When you do nothing, your pay should be nothing! When you do a bad job and make $400,000 and give back $20,000 it appears to all the Liberals that that is GREAT! (See Fox News Link and you decide)
  • DO NOT believe all you see or read on the Internet. This site will give you other sites where you can review and decide for yourself the truth. Take time to get the facts!
  • The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circle and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, “If he gets loose, will he hurt us?”
  • One particular four-year old prayed, “And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.”
  • Hope you like this one! “The Haircut”. A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and ask his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he would make a deal with his son: ” You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study the Bible, and get your hair cut. The boy though about that for a moment, decided he’d settle for the offer, and they agreed on it. After about six weeks his father said, “Son you have brought up your grades and I have observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I am disappointed that you have not had your hair cut. The boy said ” You know, Dad, I have been thinking about that, and I have noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there is even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair. YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THE DAD’S REPLY: ” Did you also notice that they all walked everywhere?”
  • A Sunday School teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?” One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”
  • Children in Church: one Sunday in a Midwest City, a young child was “acting up” during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the father picked up the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, “Pray for me! Pray for me!”
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